Subliminal Chaos
Every Silver Lining Has a Dark Cloud Covering It

One more year..

Onee more year..and I’ll be done with studying, probably for good.

The past 1.5 months have been, well interesting to say the least, but I’m not sure I gained much. Interns in a big organisation was what I was looking for and I got just that. And I got to do what I love most, meet new people, different people. I know I want to do something where I can meet people, interact, exchange ides, vies opinions, and I’m really wondering if H.R is the right option for me.

Considering the fact that I will be specialising in both H.R and Marketing I know I can get into either of these fields once I finish. But I’m still no sure. Most people I know already know what they what to get into, like even specific areas in each field. I don’t. I never did. I’ve just been taking things as they come for the past 6 years or so. Wonder when I will have to bear the consequences of the same.

I started off as a good student, then above average, then average. 10th grade was an eye opener. I knew I couldn’t be the doctor or engineer my parents wanted me to be. Arts was what fascinated me. But what I wanted was not what I ended up doing. I left the country, parents, stepped into Bangalore, India and life begin. In two year I learnt the most important lessons of my life. None of them were in college. 12th grade was a disaster. I passed is all I have to say. Bachelor’s was a comprise. I didn’t do what my parents wanted, I didn’t also do what I wanted. I did something stupid but managed to get good grades anyways. Thanks to our Indians education system.

Then came Masters. Masters, a big step, one which I took to hastily and without much thought. It was not planned, not thought out, nothing. It just happened. And here I am, in a country I like to call home, with people who have touched my heart in one too many ways, but college is nothing short of hell.

Hell. Thanks to the people, our people, the Indians here i mean. I have never felt such negativity in my life. I have never been so messed up, ever. I did all those things i thought only happened in movies. There were days,weeks months, when I couldn’t sleep at night, I didn’t feel like eating. I’m a very emotional person but that’s one side I do not show other people. In my 5 years in India people would have seen me cry thrice. Once when a very close friend’s mother passed away, then when a friend had met with a major accident and doctors had given up on him and we were asked to see him, one last time, and lastly a ugly outburst due to an issue with a friend who had terribly misunderstood me. That’s it, other wise, I’m the kind of person who can’t get angry, can’t say no to anything, always laughing, always making people laugh. But this new place brought out a side of me I’m not to proud of. I have friends who are not friends. Trust does not exist here. There is always a hidden agenda behind everything.

I guess I went a little off track. Fact remains. I’m not a fan of the place and what I am doing there. I’m hoping this doesn’t have any major impacts on my future, but I’m more than sure it will. They way I see things I’ll probably go with the flow, do what I’m supposed to do, take the next obvious step, until one fine day, when I realise that its high time I take matters into my hand a stop blaming things on others.

Ahh, life and its complexities… *sigh*

One Response to “One more year..”

  1. […] #4. And I was questionned about everything I was hoping I wouldn’t be. This reminded me about a post I had written a while back where I had said… 10th grade was an eye […]

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